Mario Mac: Noel's Independence
by Dry Black
Summary: Noel travels to a uncanny universe for major help and guidance on how to settle personal issues. Mario produced this, so this is all him. Nintendo got this one...
1. Mario

**Remember, this is a visual play, so imagine you're watching tv. If you hate play style writing, then don't bother to feast a' your eyes-a.**

**Scene: Mushroom Kingdom, Mario's Pipe House**

Outside: *knock knock knock* Hey Mario! I um, I need help about...life?!

Me: Noel Vermillion, a lass that's seeking guidance and help from someone. I know I'm a doctor and all, but I'm not a therapist. America, I'm a' speakin' to ya today because she 's knockin' on my door as I speak-a. I don't a' know if I can be of any assistance. I guess I'll nicely tell her to shove off. Come in!

_Enter Noel_

Noel: H-hey Mario.

Me: Hiya. I likes a' fanz that take their time to pay me a visit.

Noel: U-Um...yeah but...see this...oh why did I bother!

Me: No youngster!

Noel: Eh?

Me: Why do you shake in fear? What's agonizing you lass?

Noel: Ah, well there's this thing called life and...it HATES ME!

Me: Now now dear. Life gives a' all hell rides. Life is a horde of choices, consists of two paths, which are good and evil. What you cull is all you but don't let it bring you down like a' this.

Noel: Okay. Now I know life but, this guy. He hates me, the air I breath, everything I touch, he, he, HATES ME!

Me: My chest can be rained on for so long. You're in military service right? Just shoot him and keep on.

Noel: WHAT?!

Me: Or kong-fu his ass or somethin'.

Noel: WHY MAJOR?! THAT'S NOT ME! I'M NOT A KILLER!

Me: Major? Hey I was just playin' now.

Noel: Huh? But my major says the same thing to me when I come to him for advice. Was that suppose to cheer me up?

Me: Well youngster, it's your decision to laugh. Now Peach is a' comin' here any second and the last a' thing I want is her to pound me to death because of you; She'll thing I'm a molesting pedophile. Here's a gift; I want you to visit everyone on this list and return here when you finish. They should help you out. They are all deer friends a' mine.

Noel: Yes mayor. Oops, sorry.

Me: That's a fine. Now hurry on now!

_Noel exits, Peach enters_

Me: Out she goes. Accepting my quest for some acknowledgment of life, she travels to the first person on the list.

Peach: Who are you talking to sweetie?

Me: Oh hey honey. I'm a' speakin' to America, like you know, Bernie Mac from his show.

Peach: My my, you are always talking to yourself. So that show motivated you to be a little crazy?

Me: Normal folks talk a' to themselves to.

Peach: Well it's Thanksgiving! You know what that means.

Me: America, happy Thanksgiving! And I hope you made lots of em' sweet potatoes! And make sure they're real smooth and tasty to them lips; make it's sanctified taste explore your whole internal organs LET'S A GO!

Peach: Baby stop talking to the camera and rescue me from Sweet Bowser!

Me: A man's gotta do what's he gotta do! Here I go!

_Camera shuts off_


	2. Rosalina

**Scene: Inside Rosalina's ****Observatory**

Rosalina: And the little doggy says...

Lumas: Arf, arf, roof!

Rosalina: What do the Gorilla do?

Apricot Luma: Beat on his beat-box!

Rosalina: "Beat-box?"

Red Luma: Yes mama. That's their bodies, beat-boxes 'cause they are breakin' boxes!

Rosalina and Lumas: *laughing and giggling*

Outside: My golly! Home outside Earth? It's impossible to live out here but it's, so breathtaking! Oh my gosh! A comet!

Rosalina: Unwanted tourist are welcomed. Please come in.

_Enter Noel_

Yellow Luma: Welcome.

Red Luma: Git out!

Noel: S-sorry to intrude but, a friend of yours told me y-you are full of wisdom so...I need help real bad.

Red Luma: GIT, OUT!

Noel: YIPE!

Red Luma: That's right. Yipe yo ass on out then.

Yellow Luma: What's "ass" momma?

Rosalina: Don't mind him. He's the hot head that hate strangers; wait until you become a grown healthy planet to know that my yellow child.

Red Luma: Young, Mrs. Young Blondie, I know the first go round always fail but I'm pretty damn sure I elucidated when I said "GIT THE FUCK OUT!" HOP YOUR TRASH-SHORT DRESS ASS OFF OUR HOME AND BECOME A DAMN METEORITE WIT YO HUNCHBACK ASS!

Rosalina: RED!

(_Me: America! Who is this sore-bastard?! If he dare assault Peach like a' that, my she will...__wroo baby! __carry on.__)_

Noel: S-sorry f-f...WAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY DO BIG STARS HATE ME?! WHAT DID I DO TO ANGER Y'ALL?!

_Noel Exits_

Rosalina: You have five seconds to apologize or you will get a lava spankin' from your mommy dearest.

Red Luma: Hell no! Fuck you!

Green Luma: Umm, don't do that.

Apicot Luma: Man you already did a lot.

Black Luma: Man yo ass is 'bout to be tolled bra!

Gray Luma: Toll his booty!

Rosalina: Hmm. Wow. Okay.

**Scene: ****Outside ****Rosalina's ****O****bservatory**

Inside: AHHHHH STOP!-WHO TAUGHT YOU TO TRADUCE LIKE THAT HUH?! ANSWER!-NO ONE MOMMY!-YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF TO BE DISRESPECTFUL?!-TOLL HIS ASS!-BOOTY! TOLL, HIS, ASS!-BOOTY! – Y'ALL WANNA BE NEXT?!-NO MA'AM!

(_Me: Tear his ass a' up! That brat needs to know his place and that's __play__in' a child's __role__! America, if you have kids, this will be a good time to wroop their asses just for the hell of it!__)_

_Enter Mu(Her dark conscious; only Noel can hear and see her)_

Mu: Pathetic. Disappear like he said, hop off and perish.

Noel: GET OUT! GET OUT! GET AAAAAAAAAAAH-OUT!

Mu: No. I'm you, your ultimate potential to set life right. Nintendo can't help you alien; the only reason "that man" hates you is because you're feeble and always feel sorry for yourself; only I can be of guidance. Just morph into me. Let me make you happy. Let me show and teach you life and it's benefits.

Noel: Leave me ALONE! I'm, not, evil! You're ratchet! GET OUT PLEASE!

Mu: Oh so I'm that self-righteous lion from "Ratchet & Clank?"

Noel: What?! NO! YOU'RE WRETCHED AND CORRUPTED! I'M A GOOD GIRL!

Mu: And you'll still be, just under my control. Think about it. Everyone that hates your mere guts will crumble! STOP BEING A *beep* AND RELEASE ME!

Noel: I never cursed in my life but your ass is pushin' it!...Wroops.

Mu: There we go. Let me absorb negativity. Either way it goes, I will take over you and faith will make sure of it! WORLD DEMISE SHALL COME!

Inside: I'm terribly sorry about that Luma but if you're still out there, please come back in. Like Earth, space have chaotic weather conditions. I been out here long enough so yeah; Earth is nothing compared to out here soldier...I think you're one?

Mu: You go on in there and let her waste your precious time. Of all the universes you picked "Nintendo." Just pathetic.

Noel: I-I love Mario and Kirby.

Mu: Kids shit! You need to play some real games like "Mortal Kombat," "Asura's Wrath," God of War," and other rated M crap!

Noel: I'M A GIRL!

Mu: No more! You're an amazon, a warrior princess that's going to sing a lullaby to this miserable world! WAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!

_Exits Mu_

_(Me: Man that's one evil broad. America, can I borrow your artillery and snipe this bitch?! Lik__e__ a' tanka this demon!)_

Noel: I'm not Lady Macbeth! I'm not the three witches from "Macbeth!" They all got hard faces! They all got mustaches! They all got beards! They all got goatees! Mines is soft and hair free!

_(Me: TELL EM'!)_

**Scene: Inside Rosalina's Observatory**

_Enter Noel_

Noel: Um hey...Rosalina.

Rosalina: Ah. From Mario I presume?

Noel: Eh?! Wra-wra...

Rosalina: He had that same paper when I first met him. You know, Bowser kidnap Peach gig, but this time he took it to space and brought terror upon my home and planets. But, are you okay sweety? You need some tea?

Noel: Um, well see...

Rosalina: I'm harmless. I'll be back, I think that Luma got you palled up in fear.

_Rosalina Exits_

Noel: But. Ummm.

_Mu:"__the only reason "__that man" hates you __is __because you're feeble and always feel sorry for yoursel__f! __Of all the universes you picked "Nintendo." __Just pathetic.__"_

Noel: H-help me. Get this demon out of me and that man away from me.

_Enter Rosalina_

Rosalina: There you go sweety.

Noel: Where's the stars?

Rosalina: You shot them to bed because...

Noel: Eh?

Rosalina: As I was punishing dirty mouth, you was growling to yourself pretty loud and viciously; hence you scared them to bed. If you're a possessed person, sorry. I can't cleanse evil that's within you. If you came for so, then you must be on your way. Giga Bowser was terrifying enough.

Noel: NO PLEASE! I CAME HERE FOR WISDOM! NOT FREEDOM!

Rosalina: So you are off!

Noel: PLEASE DON'T GO!

Rosalina: Ow!

Noel: LIFE! I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO LIVE LIFE! THIS MAN AND WOMAN ARE HAUNTIN' ME DOWN! THEIR MALICIOUS SAYINGS KEEPS COMIN' BACK AND BACK!

_?: "__So you dare reject a god that can protect you from any and everything?! Bitch! I can even grant you eternal life! Man your dumb __vacuous__ ass needs __a beat down of knowledge. BITCH YOU__'RE__ THAT RETARTED TO RUN! NOW IT'S SEVERE WHORE! __NOW TELL ME YOU'RE A PRETTY DUMB BITCH!__"_

Noel: NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAOP! "I'M PRETTY DAMN DUMB!"

Rosalina: OKAY! OKAY! You're squashing my stomach! I guess this is nadir. I'll tell you what I know. Just let go; you watered the garden well enough and made it skinner.

Noel: S-s-sorry. You s-still have your tu-tummy.

Rosalina: Yeah I guess. You have a pretty harsh way of pleading though. I don't understand what's going on, but you're facing abuse. The only advice I can give is face your fears; don't back down; face it with courage; don't involve fright. Evil feeds on fear and miscellaneous elements in relation; you know, oppression and depression that you're deeply in. I'm not telling you to take them out physically, but find a way to make them feel bad and make them rue their horror festival.

Noel: Thank y-you. You're the first to tell me not to break their neck.

Rosalina: Well if all fails, slay them demons.

Noel: I'm not that kind of woman!

Rosalina: Baby, there's so much you can take. Playing Ms. Nice has limits. Looking at you, you will black out and anything can happen when black takes over. You look quiet and humble; that means you're deadly when someone endangers you.

Noel: Wra? No! I'm not bipolar! I'm harmless and rather handle shit through talking!

Rosalina: Words are nothing to evil.

Noel: BITCH! Sorry, but I'm about to cuss your ass out!

Rosalina: Well, you're still a callow teen learning the way. The truth hurts but you will share the same punishment if you dare try me! Make an attempt! Move them lips! Shadow out a word!

Noel: ...Sorry m-madam. See y-ya!

_Noel Exits_

Rosalina: Wroo, these younglings are something. If the past booms in, they will understand how to property live life; the hard way. They got it easy.

_(Me: Yes they do. America, they __wouldn't__ last a fuckin' day in slavery! We died for these bastards to enjoy __everything__ they got! A-LOT OF US, died for them! SHOW A' US RESPECT!)_

**Scene: ****Outside ****Rosalina's ****O****bservatory**

Yoshi: Yo Boshi.

Boshi: Yea dog.

Yoshi: "Shawty said the *beep* that she with ain't shit. Shawty said the *beep* that she with ain't this. Shawty said the *beep* that she with can't hit. But shawty I'ma hit it, hit it like I can't miss."

Boshi: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

_(Me: Hell no America! __Them wanna be gangstas always come at a' wrong timer with their nasty ass raps! What am I gonna do with them Yoshis? __Just c__arry on.)_

Noel: W-well I'm not meat! WHAT DO Y'ALL KNOW?!

Boshi: Oh-oh man. She love her man.

Yoshi: Let's go before she snipe our *beep* off up close! Extraction swag!

_Yoshi & Boshi Exits. __Enter Mu._

Mu: Well done. More power to you.

Noel: SHUT UP! I KNOW YOU'RE HAPPY!

Mu: I can't complement you?!

Noel: YOU'RE NOT IN CONTROL!

Mu: JUST SHOVE HOME AND LET ME OUT!

Noel: NO! I want to know life from these people. They have some knowledge about it.

Mu: Well waste your fucking time. No matter how much you learn, we'll prevail.

_Mu Exits_

Noel: AGH! LIFE WHY?!...why...

(Me: And Ms. NOL leaves the space station for more help. Will she ever confront these brutes America?)

(Peach: Baby, Sweet Bowser came back. HELP!)

(Me: Think about that America. Them sweet potatoes are a' beggin' for the return of butter man. "LET'S A GO!")

_Camera fades away_

_**Extra Scene(Optional)**_

Noel: "I'm not bipolar!" I'm a talk woman!

Rosalina: I didn't call you crazy.

Noel: Yes you did!

Rosalina: All I'm trying to tell you is even the innocent loses it.

Noel: NOT ME! "Bipolar?!" Really?!

Rosalina: "Talk woman." What is that?

Noel: A talk woman is a girl that wroops ass through mouth and words; which is what I'm doin' to you!

_Enter three singers __with a jazzy __Christmas __melody_

Singer 1: Talk woooooman will tear dat ass uhhhhhhhhhhup!(repeat)

Singer 2: Talk woooooman will eat yo ass daaaaaaahown!(repeat)

Singer 3: Talk woooooman will swerve yo ass oooooooooooon!(repeat)

Rosalina: *Ahem.*

Noel: No keep signin'!

Rosalina: Seriously, I'm about to forget my script.

Noel: Prepare for a talk down of justice!

Singer 2: Talk wooooooman will take down big laaaaaaaaaaaaass!(repeat)

Singer 1: Talk wooooooman killed this bitch coooooooooooooold!(repeat)

Singer 3: Talk wooooooman's chicken is coooooooooooooold!(repeat)

Rosalina: Okay. Cut! Cut that shit out! MARIO!

Me: Okay okay a' cuta!

Noel: No Mario! Let them sing! They sound ace.

Rosalina: The hell they do! Mario SHUT THEM UP!

Me: I a' got you big Peach!

All singers: AHHHHHHHHHH-HO-HEEEEEEEEE! AH, HO-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!(repeat)

Me: Now that's harmonization at it's a' best!

_Enter Link_

Link: Eh-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BIIIII BEEEEEEEE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

_Singers Exit_

Me: Mama mia!

Noel: Huh? Who is this dress man...oh so this is what medieval knights wore huh?

Rosalina: No honey. That's what you call scary.

Noel: That man can hold that.

Me: My kinda zeta!

_Camera ends the noise and shuts off_


	3. Daisy

**Scene: Sarasaland, Chai Kingdom**

Noel: Where's c-color? This must be miniature Earth; Eastern I-Island, Ancient Egypt, Ancient China, and an o-oceanic island all walking distance? How is that even p-possible?

Hakumen: Halt! Daisy must request tourist to tour around. Whatever she requests or invites, they come here no shit.

Noel: H-H-Hakumen?!

Hakumen: I'm no longer Hakumen! I'm one of the three artefactual heroes, Disrespect; guardian of the flower you see before you. Disrespect me means you're a sore-loser, A.K.A., dead man.

Noel: E..um but it's a colorful castle; the only thing that's colorful. You never spoke l-like that before.

Hakumen: Queen Daisy taught me new life! I like this life; It's simple, scare unwanted characters like yourself away or, become meat for kingdoms Easton and Birabuto. No more "Blazblue" crap. I dropped that universe a long time ago. That world was too immature for me to handle.

Noel: What a-about that m-man?!

Hakumen: What man?! Oh, that green snake bastard that shits on you every chance he gets?!

Noel: ...Yes...

Hakumen: Yeah I'll be sad too if I was as weak as you. Well he's the reason I joined Nintendo. He runs that putrid universe now!

Noel: EH?!

Hakumen: Man the shit is tragic. There's no more grass. All the trees, water and other nature elements are gone; everything is man made now, even foods that are now drugged and artificial! He took nature out! That's a red sign right there! How we gonna breathe?! Then he has the audacity to make deathly dreams become reality.

Noel: Y-y-you saying too much! STOP THIS!

Hakumen: Female let me finish before I forget! That tyrant snake took up all the homes and used them as storage for his personal belongings. Do you know how many people are out of a home?! That's a lot of useless shit to store up. Then the only way you can get a good, or should I say death night's rest is by only going to these surgical facilities. They will stab your head with these needles, which summons only nightmares to become active. Like if some shit dream of murdering someone, a beast raising havoc, or other manias like that, IT, WILL, HAPPEN! You can't even sleep no more because of all of these inhumane drives! You must stay wary for twenty four hours, all day everyday. That's some horrified bullshit I don't want no part of! All because that "special one" left the universe...which is you! You're responsible for this shit!

Noel: …o, o, o, of…*faints*

Hakumen: Pathetic. You always been an emotional pussycat. Mrs. Daisy! Dead body at twelve o' clock!

Daisy's Castle: BRING IT IN AT ONE!

Hakumen: Got you!

(_Me: America, I know you feel sorry for her. This poor little soul is facin' __all kinds of insults, name callin', __shit with her "man," __just straight __up __stress. Man people these a' dayz are takin' people's kindness for granted. You can't be nice to nobody no more __man.)_

**Scene: Daisy's Castle  
**  
Hakumen: I think she's dead.

Daisy: No. Her pulse is still warm. It's a coma. All right, go back to your post and thanks for the information.

Hakumen: No prob.

Noel: *moan* M-my head.

Daisy: She's up! Hi I'm Daisy!

Noel: Oh god m-my head...D-Daisy?

Hakumen: Well I got something else to say.

Daisy: POST! NOW!

Hakumen: Damn I forgot. Thank you queen bee!

Daisy: Here's some advice Disrespect, go stick yo *beep* in dat gay Easter statue's mouth! Let em' *beep* job it real good cadet.

Hakumen: Insolent incorrect information!

_Hakumen Exits_

Daisy: You're never become a full fledged chief of defense wit dat attitude! Now you. How did you even no of this kingdom?

Noel: W-well...

Daisy: Hold it. Let me look at you.

Noel: W-why?

Daisy: ...Yea I see. You're different. You're not from these parks.

Noel: B-but why judge m-my appearance?

Daisy: You're thick. Women in this universe are skinny; even Rosalina, the big version of Peach. Everythang about ya is thick. Look at them legs.

Noel: Huh?

Daisy: Damn show wider than mines. Then yo body, just, just...wut the hell did you eat?! It won't surprise me if you're from Metroid; dat Samus is Xena I'm tellin' ya! Are you a tribade?

Noel: NO EWWWW!

Daisy: Then Nintendo came up with another game then. You're not a tribade 'cause dat's her all over. Who are you?!

Noel: I'm Noel, a NOL lieutenant from "Blazblue."

Daisy: "Blazblue?" Blaz...is dat a hat? GIVE ME!

Noel: WHA-OW! HEY!

Daisy: This is a man's hat. And you're not gay?! We butchin' women?

_Enter Mu_

Noel: _Sh-she callin'...she..._

_Mu: Tell her..._

Noel:_ NO!_

_Mu: TELL HER!_

Noel: _I'M INDEPENDENT!_

_Mu: Oh ho-ho-ho that's cute. Thanks for the ten percent of negativity. Now you can act even more like a junk yard dog. __Trick__ I command you! __TELL HER __ABOUT THAT "YA TRICK YA" GIG__!_

Noel: _NOOOOOOO...__AHHHHHHHH! _IT'S GOT-DAMN UNIFORM!

Daisy: Okay okay! *cough* Bipolar.

Noel: I heard that! I came to this empty ass place for help. HELP DAMMIT!

Daisy: WHO YO ASS TALKIN' TO LIKE DAT?! I NO DAMN WELL IT'S NOT ME!

Noel: N-n-no o-ne.*Freedom cough* _Did this bitch put her bony __ass __hands around my neck?!_

_Mu: Yes. Yes, YES! __Extract revenge on this toxic waste avenger._

Noel: _I'm about to fuck her up!_

_Mu: YES GO ON __MY VESSEL__! __SHOW HER YOU'RE NOT THE ONE TO FUCK WITH!_

Daisy: No we don't do dat around here! Kids bow to their elders and strangers are no exception! OWRA! Bitch really? AHHH SHIT!

_Mu: Now smash her face to pieces._

_Enter Hakumen_

Hakumen: What the hell's going on?!

Noel: Um, she hit her head on the stove.

Daisy: Bitch you lyin'!

Hakumen: ...Look like a foot mark to me. You beating her ass?!

_Mu: Oh shit. __If this man comes at us, we're screwed._

Noel: Um no! Y-you see...

Hakumen: Carry on.

_Hakumen Exits_

_Mu: Whew. Now tear her ribs off and have her to eat them!_

Daisy: YOU'RE FIRED FOR THIS OERO BASTARD!

Outside: Whatever. I'll leave on my own time.

Noel: STAY DOWN!

Daisy: OOF! Wait until Luigi comes here! You're ass won't last ho.

Noel: Well he's not here. Where's your man? I'm so scared.

_Mu: Yes. Yes. Just a little more __e__xtraordinar__y acts__._

Noel: I came for help about life! YOU WILL ADVISE!

Daisy: From a thick young ass bitch. Fuck you and your "Blazblue" world! AHH HIT HARDER BITCH! I'M NOT TELLIN' YOU SHIT!

Noel: Fine!...HELP ME OUT OR DIE!

_Enter Hakumen_

Hakumen: Okay now chillax. I know you kick ass when you're pissed but killing them? That's not you Noel!

Noel: It is today...

_Noel morph__s__ into Mu_

Mu: Freedom. At last I'm FREE!

Hakumen: You. That's why he did the things he did. You're his creation.

Mu: A creation that hates her creator. I too hate his mere infected guts. He can kiss my ass for all I care.

Daisy: Wut's goin' on? So this little terrorist gets ported to our world. Fuckin' awesome.

Mu: Yes I'm a universal terrorist! Made to destroy all!

Daisy: Well go take out PlayStation and Xbox's stuff first. Make us last.

Mu: That's sounds swell but from you, request denied.

Daisy: FINE! I know flower-tech-fu ho! GOT!...Damn it felt like a truck.

Mu: Prepare for your demise. Pathetic that an effortless blow didn't take much for a contusion. Any last prayers?

Daisy: BITCH I GOT NAILED BY GREEN EYES EARLIER!

Mu: That's even worse. She can't even smash a bug to bits if she tried.

Daisy: Man yo ass is bipolar as a mother fucker! dat's a lot of woman too!

Mu: Excuse me?! Those are your last words?

Daisy: Bitch look at ya!

Mu: Sexy I know.

Daisy: Ho no! Wut's wit all this front and back?! You showin' too much meat now! Shit spoilin' check yo freezer!

Hakumen: _Shit I left my sword._

Mu: Ask Master Hazama, he made me; plus I take good care of this. Maybe of you do the same, you would look more like a woman than a man.

Daisy: ERRR I don't got time fo' no Hazamo! BITCH DID YOU REALLY CALL ME A MAN?! Hm, well man beat slut any day.

Mu: How cute; looking like something from "Avatar."

Daisy: GRRR! Etched up spider lice statue of liberty! Okay I got some dresses and stuff in my closet! Please put somethin' on!

Mu: NO! I'm fine! I don't need anything from a random talking freak!

_Enter Luigi_

Luigi: Hey how we do? Yo we got a' newcomer!

Daisy: Bust her ass baby!

Mu: Sit.

Luigi: Wut's up naked wat's up?

Daisy: Yo BUST HER ASS WHAT CHA DOIN'!

Mu: SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!

Luigi: AHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!

Daisy: Baby she was wide open!

Luigi: Man let's tell her to...

Luigi & Daisy: Git off dat crack o' you will git smack!

Luigi: I don't know you but I will rip off yo belly button, tangle dat shit up in yo Colombian tubes, tangle dat shit up in yo bones, add some tissues in dat bitch, pour yo sperm on dat shit, cum my cool whip on dat trick, then shove it down yo throak final playboy swag!

Daisy: YEA! DAT'S MY MAN!

Mu: Just like Bang, an enthusiastic trash excuse of a vigilante that's all mouth lacking actual action. I can do what you just threatened so fast like it didn't even. So come, get up and face me once more.

Luigi: Bluff. Just bluffin' wit ya.

Daisy: Yea I'm sorry too.

Mu: Acutely pathetic. Well Hakuman, come, perish for these meager cockroaches.

Hakumen: I'm too damn old for this crap.

Mu: So you want world demise to come faster? Heh, heh. Everybody's emaciating the world with their selfish decisions. Very well. Fear shall crumble before me!

Hakumen: Just go expose a tit for those horny ass Eastern Heads or have "one," of them to perform cunnilingus on you.

Mu: Hm, women are always facing sex assaults from dogs. I personally had ENOUGH! DISAPPEAR!

Hakumen: OWWWWWWWWUUUUUUHWRA! GOOOOOO FINGERRRRR! WANCHI ASSS! NOEL WILL BE FREE!

_Hakumen Dies_

Luigi: Got-damn. Straight up mutilated this man.

Daisy: She's a god. So, mixin' Kratos and Asura up makes her...we're don for.

Mu: Now prepare for y'alls demise! Nasty couples like yourselves don't have a place in this world. No more last prayers; y'all used it to piss me off!

Daisy: Man look at all of these light needles. Damn I can't see shit.

Luigi: I don't want to die blind. Let's die fuckin'!

Daisy: Well we got little time but let's make the best of it.

Mu: Yes, make y'all's death creamy.

_(Me: Ah c'mon bra! Really?! America, do you see this?! They wanna fuck for the last second! Every damn time you look up, they always do-ba-da-ba. GIVE BLUE'S CLUES A BREAK! Y'all already messed my bed up, just die with teeth fa' showin'!)_

_Enter Noel's Conscious(Only Mu can see and hear her)_

_Noel: Before you __expunge__ us all, can I go pay Peach a visit? __That's the last thing on the list._

Mu: FOUL! FUCKING FOUL!

Luigi: Oh yeah it's workin'!

Daisy:*moans wildly*

_Noel: It's just a little visit that won't even last five minutes._

Mu: _How? HOW?!_

_Noel: Well this is originally my body. You expect me to go away completely? Please. __Azazel __I will get my body back. Ow!_

Mu: _So you __can feel__. Perfect. You'll die right here and now._

**Noel vs Mu ****l****et's a go!**

_Noel: Come on trick let's do this. YAAAAAAAH!_

Mu: EEEEEEEYAH! Ah, ah, ah damn ENOUGH!

_Noel: AH!_

Mu: Hm.

_Noel: GIEK!_

Mu: You're nothing but a infant trying to best nothing! It's too late! I have utter ascendancy! Just, just go join "The Walking Dead." Rick's dying to put you out of your misery.

_Noel: You're good, but that insult just caused you the match!_

Mu: What?! Impossible!

_Noel: HIYA!_

Daisy: UUUUUUH BABY BEAR!

Luigi: Nah you can't win!

Mu: OW OKAY SHIT YOU WIN! YOU'RE OVERDOSING ON CRACK!

**Fight over**

_Noel: Wroo that felt good. This spirit thing is awesome! __You know what, take my ass to him. I think __I'll go__ confront __him__, don't you agree?_

Mu: _Um, yeah. I doubt you can even lay a finger on him. "He __raised __you__!"_

Daisy: *Moans loud*

Luigi: BAT DAT SHIT!

Daisy: HARDER!

Mu: TURN THAT SHIT DOWN! _Don't piss off the hand that feeds you. He did find you on the side of the road and took care of you until your true looks came out. __All he wanted was love, what's wrong with __that__?_

_Noel: I look__ed__ at him as a father, not a lover. __But __sayin'__ "no" really let the devil out of __him. __H__e utterly __despised__ me __for that. __I have no part of __that__ universe __no more__. __Now let's go find Peach and see what she has to say about __life__._

Mu: _Ummm, yeah. __Let's go learn._

_Noel: I feel sorry for you._

Mu: _I can host a rematch now!_

_Noel: Don't waste my time!_

Mu: _Trick __t__hat was __all __luck!_

_Noel: Very well._

**Round two of Noel vs Mu ****l****et's a rumble!**

Mu: MY NOSE! AH! FUCK!

_Noel: Abracadabra!_

Mu: _GOT DAMN MANNISH!_

Daisy: HEY WATCH THE WALL NOW! It's UH! OH MY LORD DAT'S DELICATE!

Luigi: I'm fixin' the wall right now!

_Noel: Now say "Abbadabbas!"_

_Mu: Candy makes you, DANDY!_

Noel: ABBADABBAS! _You want your arm right?!_

Mu: OKAY OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Luigi: Damn Daisy! Eject some juice wit dat too now!

Daisy: Dat's not me! This bitch must be vibratin' or somethin!

_Noel: That sounds even better! SCREAM FOR FUCKIN' WITH ME! DO YOU RUE __MAKIN__'__ UNETHICAL __DECISIONS __NOW__?!_

Mu: ABBADAABBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

**Round two over**

_Noel: Won again._

Mu: ABBADAABBAAAAS! *pant* Abbadabbas *pant* Abbadabbas.

_Noel: Now remove those lights._

Mu: *moaning and panting* _D-__d__amn_ y_ou're __impossible, _*pant* _what __the__ hell. _*pants twice*_The power of _*cough* _spirits._

Luigi: Well we free! Let's take this to bed ballgirl!

Daisy: Let's really kill some lions sugar bear!

_Daisy & Luigi Exits_

Mu: W-w_hy? __You're not learning shit from this bitch. OW *__cough, cough* __SHIT! *__pant__*_

_Noel: You will have a clean mouth from this point on! You finally gave me independence! Thank you, now, take me to Peach! __Then to that bastard._

Mu: _You think it's that easy huh?...F-fine. *__sigh* __You can have your pathetic body back._

Mu morphs back into Noel

Noel: Alright. Peach, you're the last teacher on this list, I will heed your advice. Hakumen, I'm s-sorry.

_Mu: I'm not._

_Hakumen: "__All because __that__ "special one" left __the universe__...which is you! You're responsible for this shit! You're responsible for this shit! You're responsible for this shit!"_

Noel: _Well if I'm responsible, I'll fix it._

_Mu: In your dreams._

Noel: _You're peanut gallery bull crap is gonna have to end!__  
_

Me: Wow! What a scena. Rosalina is always right; she said being nice has limits and Ms. Noel tore that ass up TWICA! she's smarter than Peach. America, I'm protectin' the wrong princess.

Peach: Oh you are?! Excuse me, I'm stupid?! I'm real stupid?!

Me: Mama mia! You know I'm entertaining America!

Peach: But I'm stupid though! I'm fucking stupid?! And she's sexier than me! You just gonna end this huh?! 'Cause she got a "BIGGER ASS?!" FUCK YOU *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*

Me: ...Turn it off. See ya America. I got a' personal problem to handle right now.

_Camera fades away taking __intense__ heat with it_

_**Extra Scene**_

Daisy: Damn girl!

Noel: W-what?

Daisy: You're pretty big for yo age aren't cha?

Noel: ?! You're pretty small f-for a grown up.

Daisy: Let me tell you somethin', I'll rather be here anorexic than near obese word?

Noel: I'm alright, I think.

Daisy: And you're tall! Girl, I don't no wut you're on but stop it. Git off of it!

Noel: I'm not on anything!

Daisy: Dat's cute. You got a taste fo' fashion.

Noel: Well thanks but, this is uniform.

Daisy: Are those stockin's?

Noel: Um, these are leggin's'.

Daisy: Girl hook a sister up! Do you got they phone number and stuff?!

Noel: I'm not allowed to give you personal information.

Daisy: Wut's so damn personal about fashion?!

Noel: N-n-nothin'!

Daisy: Than hook a got-damn sister up!

Noel: Okay, how about I come back with this, stuff?

Daisy: Wit the hat!

Noel: Affirmative.

_Noel Exits, __enter Hakumen_

Daisy: Wut's up Disrespect.

Hakumen: I got to sing you something special. Do you want to hear it?

Daisy: Well blast my head! Go fo' it!

Hakumen: Alright. HIT IT!

_Otis Redding's Marry Christmas Baby melody arouses in the castle's ears_

Hakumen: "I wish you a merry, Christmas baby! Happy New Year ha! Merry Christmas honey! Everything here is beautiful! I love you baby! For everything that you give me! I love you honey, MORE! Lord have mercy! A merry Christmas honey! A 'white', crystal baby!"

_Hakumen exits __still a' signin' with the music fading behind him_

Daisy: O...kay?...Wow that was um, pop goes the crack head weezle.

_Enter Noel_

Noel: Here you go Mrs. Daisy.

Daisy: Oh my Luigi! I need to try this on like now! And you got the shoes?! Dat's wut's up!

_Daisy Exits_

Noel: Y-you're welcome.

_Enter Hakumen_

Noel: Eh? What else I need to know?

Hakumen: That's why I came. I listened to this song while I was driving my truck and this intriguing song comes on. It was so impeccable that I memorize the end of it. You wanna hear it?

Noel: Yeah why not.

Hakumen: Sweet. HIT ME!

Noel: Wha?!

_The same__ melody __returns to__ the castle's ears_

Hakumen: "I wish you a merry, Christmas baby! Happy New Year ha! Merry Christmas honey! Everything here is beautiful! I love you baby! For everything that you give me! I love you honey, MORE! Lord have mercy! A merry Christmas honey! A 'white', crystal baby!"

_Hakumen exits __still a' signin' with the music fading behind him_

Noel: ?! Um..."merry Christmas?" "Happy New Year?"..."White, crystal, baby?" And I thought...Taokaka was random but wow. Where did that come from?

_Enter Daisy_

Daisy: Well wut do you think? It fits perfectly! And the stockin's!

Noel: You l-look like general Snake.

Daisy: GRRR! Dat blow shit up bastard you have to unlock from BRAWL!?

Noel: NO! I'M TERRIBLY SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I-I I'M JUST SAYIN'! Y...N-NO P-P-PPLEASE!

Daisy: C'MERE! I KNOW I DON'T HAVE CHILREN BUT YO ASS NEEDS A WROOPIN'!

Noel: NO! NO! I'M SORRY REALLY!

Daisy: Gotcha!

Noel: PLEASE DON'T! YOU LOOK SWELL! YOU'RE NO TOMBOY!

Daisy: THEN YOU SAID SOMETHIN' OUT OF WRACK?!

Noel: NO PLEASE! *screams at the top of her lungs*

Me: Man this girl can a' act.

Daisy: SHUT UP! ENDURE IT!

Me: Man I like this. Mother and daughter's relationshippa. I don't know who worst, boys or girls. Boys, you a' deal with them when they are little until their graduation; girls, they just get a' worst when age increases. From my perspective, it's equally balanced. Only freedom is granted when them little bastard-brats packed their stuff and shove off in their quest called life...Daisy don't need children.

_Camera ends __various __horrendous __bawls __and __scolding; then __shuts off_


	4. Peach Showdown

**Scene: Mushroom Kingdom**

Noel: This m-must be P-Peach's castle. It's rainin' c-cats and dogs.

_Mu: Enjoy every second of it._

Noel: _Peanut gallery._

_Mu: You're not my mouth. I can say what ever I want._

Noel: _SILENCE!_

_Mu: Brat! __Kicking my ass teaches me nada! Death is the only answer._

Noel: _I'll remember that when you target Jin._

Distance Princess: Well I hope she comes back.

Distance ?: She's my soul and heart. I'm nothing without my soldier girl.

Noel: _Huh? Is that Peach?_

_Mu: I see gray pink in the mist so yeah, that's her...?! __N__o way._

Noel: ?!_...__Who's that?_

_Mu: It's him._

Noel: _I don't see green._

_Mu: The man's in black. It's_ _very __foggy __and misty __out-here! You can't see green __my vacuous queen__!_

Peach: Everything will be fine.

?: Yeah, I hope. She just up and left. I took good care of this...

Peach: She's a woman, not what I predict you're saying.

?: ...Woman.

Noel: EH?!

Peach: What was that?

?: …_It sounds like her. __I'm about to burn that ass to death!_ Excuse me.

_Mu: Dumb fuck. __Hide real good!_

Noel: _I-I am._

_Mu: Keep your slutty-sloppy ass mouth shut!_

Peach: Is everything alright Mr. Hazama?

Hazama: That's odd. It must be ghosts.

Peach: Yeah. Luigi is having a very hard time maintaining them so expect strange sounds.

Hazama: ..._What's that blue?...__Got ya bitch. Just stay right there._

_Mu: Oh, to, the shit._

Peach: You wanna stay for supper?

Hazama: Hm? Nay. I must be going. Thanks for the comfort madam.

Peach: You're very welcome.

_Hazama__ exits_

Peach: Okay well have a good one!

_Mu: *beep* playing nice. __He dupe this bitch with that "I'm a good man" __play._

Noel: _The funny part about it is, he was a good man._

_Mu: Pretty ironic you'd say that._

Noel: _Seriously, he was. I was, about to g-give it to him until he went wild._

_Mu: That's funny too! Your stank-wanchi ass said "no!"_

Noel: _Quit calling me NAMES!_

_Mu: Trashcan cookie monster._

Noel: _Living aids._

_Mu: Shitty-ass toilet!_

Noel: _HIV SLUT!_

Peach: Huh? Young girl, are we hiding from someone?

Noel: EEK! Yo-you're, Peach?

Peach: Yes I am. Now come on in, it's raining bullets out here...oh my!

Noel: IKE!

Peach: And light. Hurry on in and we're continue from there!

_Peach Exits_

Noel: S-she hates me.

_Mu: No shit zooloo. __If I was her, your ass will be disposed of by now._

Noel: _YOU'RE NOT HELPIN'!_

_Mu: Look at __the situation!__ I don't know how but he knows we're here. He met her first so, he took that chance to gamble up lies. __She believes em', I'm not surprise._

Noel: _O-okay Baby Goliath Grouper._

_Mu: Think before you burn. I'm in spirit form now, you won't whoop my ass like you did from that tomboy's castle._

Noel: _At this point, I don't care. I had enough. I __just __want to go do this then go home._

_Mu: Well I'm not __controlling__ you so walk your blob mother ass on in._

_(Me: America I hava guest.)_

_(Ragna: How ya doin' America!)_

_(Me: You know Noel so, you think she will be all right?)_

_(Ragna: Bra, I know she will be all ight. Who can carry two shotguns and used them bitches like it's nothin'? Unites States, this woman can even swing em' ho's like nun-chucks. I mean dat girl just YO-TO-YA-TRICK! Den when she git mad, dat girl will act my boo, she will cuss yo ass out! Dat green turkey can't win! "You can't win Chile!")_

_(Four Male Backup Singers: "No you can't win!")_

_(Ragna: "Oh No! Oh no!")_

_(Four Male Backup Singers: "No you can't win!")_

_(Ragna: No no! Oh my! )_

_(Four Male Backup Singers: "No you can't win!")_

_(Ragna: NOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!)_

_(Four Male Backup Singers: "No you can't win!")_

_(Ragna: UN-HUH! BROWN PAPER BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...)_

_(Four Male Backup Singers: "No you can't win!")_

_(Me: Youngsters these a' days. *sigh* Carry on.)_

**Scene: Peach's Castle**

Noel: W-wow!

Peach: Beautiful isn't it? Too bad it's beauty is now ruined.

Noel: W-w-why?!

Peach: You're the runaway?

Noel: Y-yes ma'am.

_Mu: You should have lied to this bitch!_

Peach: I'm pretty sure you have a reason.

Noel: Y-you see...

Peach: Don't stutter. It bugs me to no end.

_Mu: Oh I like her._

Noel: _Then suck her asshole._

_Mu: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!_

Noel: That man, he's not whatever he told you. The man's a devil! He tells you stuff so you can believe it. Bastard's manipulative!

Peach: Well I sure been tricked. Or have you?

Noel: E-EH?!

Peach: You STUTTERED!

_Mu: Okay you tried. Let me..._

Noel: _SHUT-UP!_

_Mu: You're not taking this to the right place._

Noel: _And where to?! Hell?!_

Peach: You know what, get out my castle you witch!

_Mu: I myself had enough! FUCK THIS I'M TAKING CONTROL!_

Noel: _ DON'T YOU DAAAAAAAAAAARE!_

_Noel morphs_

_(Ragna: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...)_

_(Four __Male __Backup Singers:__ "__N__o you can't win!"__)__(Repeat every three seconds)_

_(Me: Oh ho America, chocolate just hits the fan. Peach is __bad ass__ wroo! I haven't seen her fight in ages!)_

(?: Ahem.)

_(Me: Oh excusa my manners. This woman here is Nu, the replacament __guest __for Ragna.)_

_(Nu: Hey America, I'm sorry for this wanna be Michael Jackson. How long has he been holding that "A" stretch?)_

_(Me: For amazingly thirty minutes.)_

_(Nu: Just thirty more than. Every time he things about "The Wiz," You get an hour of this.)_

_(Ragna: AAAAAAH! HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! BROWN! BRAAAAAAAOWN! BRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...)_

_(Nu: Good god almighty he's fine!)_

_(Me: No Ms. __Un-un __no.__)_

_(Nu: Well he is my love interest! Shit I'm joining in! SHUT UP RAGNA I'M 'BOUT TO TELL YA SOMETHIN'!)_

_(Ragna: HHHHH?! GO ON SEXY TELLA MEEEEEE DAT SOMETHIN'!)_

_(Me: This will be the only episode I invite guest, especially from their realm. Callow people America, just callow and vexin'! __You know I'm tryin' to comment about what just wenna down and you white lice people are signin' loud enough for Heaven to hear! __Man new stuff is fuck to the up you hear me America?! I can't even hear myself speaka!__)_

_(Nu & Ragna: THIS FAG JUST ROASTED ON OUR GENERATION!)_

_(__Two __Male __& Female __Backup Singers: __Mario's wrong United States of Americaaaaaaaa__!__)__(Repeat every t__wo__ seconds)_

_(Nu & Ragna: __THEN__ ROASTED ON __HIS__ GENERATION!)__(Repeat)_

_(Me: HOLY MUSHROOMS! BREAK! BREAK!)_

Mu: Trick! Laugh at your grave!

Peach: Pornstar excuse me?

Mu: You like cracking jokes, take them to death! See if it laughs! Ha-ha not!

Peach: Okay. I see what this is. You stripped to humiliate yourself, but you're telling me that's fighting gear. So, let's go, no, not sexually.

Mu: I GETTING TIRED OF Y'ALL TELLING ME I'M NAKED AND A SLUT!

Peach: Well you really are. Everything's hidden but the body. You got nothing to show, everything's flat Mr.

_Noel: You know what, I like her too._

Mu: BOTH OF Y'ALL FUCK UP! BITCH disapPEAR!

**Sub-Boss Peach vs Mu Let's a git that boss!**

Mu: YOU DON'T BELONG! IN THIS WORLD!

Peach: Don't mistake me for you.

Mu: PUH-RAAH!

Peach: See you're too angry. You're burning up everything you been trained for, concentrate and strategize. You can believe it or not predict an angry person, even a callow warrior can defeat them. Grow a cool head.

Mu: You don't know shit! AHHHH FUCK!...Got...damn! *moan in pain*

Peach: I forgot to tell you that shooting a projectile of any kind will return to it's owner, royally! So, robots can shed tears, here, wipe yourself. Even though you're evil, I will teach and care for you. Now hurry up and clean your face.

**Boss got that ass! Gameover!**

Mu: Fuck, you! *moan* GO FUCK! I'm a REAL WOMAN!

Peach: Slut please. Do you pay bills? Do you constantly have to fight a big whore, because she wants your man? Do you have to put every Toad in town to sleep, sacrificing yours?! Do you have to fight off the same villain with the same storyline!? Bowser kidnaps this and Bowser kidnaps that. I'M FUCKING TIRED!

Mu: Do it look like, I give a f...

_Mu morphs_

Noel: Please forgive her...Me!

Peach: ?!

Noel: Yeah it's an l-long story.

Peach: TIME TO END YOUR STUTTERING PHOBIA!

**Sub Boss Peach Vs Noel! Second attempt go git em'!**

Noel: NO! LET'S NOT DO THIS!

_Exits Noel_

Peach: GET BACK HERE!

**Scene: Mushroom Kingdom**

_Enter Hazama and his four goons in __clerical robes(Bang, __Arakune__, __Green Koopa__, __Dry Bones__)_

Hazama: I knew it. Oh ho! Our princess is doing the deed for us. Ohhh ho ho! Look at her go!

Arakune: "You can't win child."

_(Me: Fuckin' really?)_

Green Koopa and Dry Bones: "No you can't win!"

_(Me: __Wow r__eally?!)_

Hazama: NO DUMBASSES!

_(Ragna: I'M 'BOUT TA, PAY YA ASS A VISIT! 'BOUT, TA, PAY YA ASS A VISIT! 'BOUT, TA, PAY YA ASS A VISIT! 'BOUT, TA, PAY YA ASS A VISIT!)_

_(Church Choir: "No, you can't, win!")(repeat every three seconds)_

(Nu: COME ON IN BAAAAAAAAAABY! PAY MY ASS A VI-SIT!_)_

_(Me: Yep America, the tempo got slower, and they still going at it. It's a' been eight hours of this bull. Can somebody help me out?)_

_(?: Maybe I can.)_

_(__Me: GOT DAMN YOU'RE A NINJA! Who you?!)_

_(Tsubaki: I'm Tsubaki, a woman that hates noise like you. Mr, Nintendo, stay put. Hi mom!)_

_(Me: Well I been...__damn she didn't hesitate did she.__)  
_

_(Background: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!-OH SHIT!-WHERE'S RESPECT! __THE MAN'S ON THE JOB!__-YOU CAN'T WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!-I WILL TODAY!-__NOOOOOOOOOOO!-EIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK!-HALLELUJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!)_

_(Me: Damn what is goin', on back there. DAMN! She's getting' on all them! Even the church people!)_

_(Tsubaki: Now "STAY" quiet!)_

_(Nu: *cough* Bitch.)_

_(Ragna: *cough* Trick *cough* ass *cough* slut!)_

_(Tusbaki: I'll be back, Momma it's not working!...Yes try harder! More force!)_

_(Me: Yeah! A ga-go to mamma on them!)_

_(Background: NO PLEASE __BITCH__!-TRICK NO! IT WAS A JOKE!-SOUND SERIOUS TO ME! __REPENT NOW!__-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!-__HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO__! __FUCK! __R-__RAGNA!-YOU DON'T DO UH-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOW!-__SECURITY, ESCORT THESE __SNOBBISH__ FUCKERS OUT!-THIS, __I-__ISN'T OVER!-YOU...YOU MOLESTER!)_

_(Tsubaki: Sorry momma, America, and you Mario. There will be no more background static__s__.)_

_(Me: But the church people.)_

_(Tsubaki: Only one was false so, he got their wrath.)_

_(Me: Um, what a' did you do to them?)_

_(Tsubaki: Simple, shove this dagger up their asses. It works every time; it makes them sing one last opera. Didn't they sound nice?)_

_(Me:[aside]This woman is a freak.)_

_(Tsubaki: They squirting out red but that's what doctors for, to heal them so those bastards can clean up behind themselves. America, if you hate noisy ass makers, deliver that ass to what they call divine justice! Don't even hesitate, just grab something sharp and send that bitch in their black hole; make that slut red and I mean "dark" that shit!)_

_(Me: O,kay. Um, we got you, you, don't like noise.)_

_(Tsubaki: GOT DAMMIT BRING THEM BACK! THEM FUCKERS ARE AT IT AGAIN!)_

_(Me: That's just a' you. Carry on America.)_

_(Tsubaki: NO MY EARS DON'T DECEIVE! THEY CAN HEAR THE SUN RISE! IT "DON'T," "DECEIVE!")_

Bang: Dang! They just ran around the castle!

Noel: P-PLEASE! I CAN'T CONT-T-TROL THIS!

Peach: WELL SWEETIE, THAT'S WHY I'M CHASING YOU DOWN!

Hazama: Let's wait and see how long this goes.

_2 weeks later_

Arakune: DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

Bang: I KNOW RIGHT!

Noel: PLEASE STOP!

Peach: THIS CAN LAST UNTIL EARTH'S DEATH!

_Mu: Amazing. Two weeks of y'all's life wasted. Pathetic._

Hazama: You gotta talk like that to be a soldier girl.

Goons: "YUUUUUA!"

Dry Bones: Girl walk it out!

Green Koopa: WEST SIDE SWAG!

Bang: BAAANG-BAANG-BANG ON THESE BITCH-ES! BANG ON THESE BITCH-ES! BANG ON THESE BITCH-ES! FOR TWINTY FO' OURS!

Noel: IT'S SNOWIN' NOW! WE WILL FREEZE OUT HERE!

Peach: JUST STOP RUNNING!

Noel: GROWN UPS FIRST!

Arakune: Litchi! Bring me milk! In the name of oil!

_(Me: What the hell is this?)_

_(Tsubaki: Now this is a show! When you planning on making this a dvd? You "got" my money!)_

_(Me: Well I wasn't plannin' on makin' CD's.)_

_(Tsubaki: You should. I smell fortune.)_

_(Me: I don't know. America?)_

_(Tsubaki: Noel got legs! I mean damn that girl can run! For two weeks?! Straight up epic! This must be in stores!)_

_(Me: Okay fine. Toad's, go do what a' got to make these dvd's.)_

_(Tsubaki: ...YES! How much?!)_

_(Me: Ten dollars.)_

_(Tsubaki: THERE you go!)_

_(Me: DAMN GIRL! Too much Hamiltons!)_

_(Tsubaki: Keep all that! You got a gift! Yo ass is the next Bernie Mac!)_

_(Me: Well thank a' you so much.)_

_(Tsubaki: You're welcome. Now keep it rolling Mario Mac!)_

_(Me: Well you heard the girl, carry it on!)_

Peach: KIDS FIRST!

Noel: YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THIS!

Peach: You're finally ready for a red ass.

Noel: What's your problem?! It's "SNOWIN'!"

Peach: FUCK the got damn weather! Stuttering dweeb.

Noel: See you adults m-m-m-m-make me sick!

Peach: OH MY "GOD" BITCH!

Noel: HELLLLLLLLLLP!

Arakune: And the race race on!

_Mu: I just foreshadowed her loss._

Noel: _Well what's up?_

_Mu: Just stutter her ass out. __That pisses her off right? Then stutter pee on this Hulk.)_

Noel: _I not peein' on this trick helfa._

_Mu: You're so damn...figure of speech. But really, pee on this bitch!_

Noel: YOU NASTY S-S-S-SLUT!

Peach: ARRRRRGH!

Noel: YOU HEARD T-THAT?!

Peach: STOAAAAAAAAH!

Noel: N-N-N-N-N-N-N...

Peach: Okay! Okay. My brain is fried.

Noel: B, b-but.

Peach: YOU WON NOW "STOP!"

**Noel GOT THAT BOSS!**

Noel: Got ya trick!

_Mu: BITCH WHAT!_

Peach: Don't flatter yourself. There's always next time. Ugh, next time.

_Peach Exits_

Noel: What's that clappin'?..._Oh n-n-no._

Hazama: Let's give a round of applause to my runaway woman. How's life?

_Mu: Let me confront this shit load of toxic waste._

Noel: _I got this. _Well.

Hazama: Now it's about to get better. Seize her!

_Noel morphs_

Mu: Seize this ass.

Hazama: Mu, even you leave me?!

Mu: Why not? I exists to please myself, not a head of maharajah.

Hazama: KILL THEM!

Dry Bones: "Ya can't git out of the game."(repeat)

Bang: Can't get owwwut of the, gaaaaaaammmmme hey! GAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY HEY-HEY! Gaaaaaaammmmme hey! GAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY HEY-HEY! Gaaaaaaammmmme hey! GAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY HEY-HEY! Gaaaaaaammmmme hey! GAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY HEY-HEY!...

Arakune: ...Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah TRICK!...YA TRICK!...YA TRICK!...YA TRICK!...

Green Koopa: Naked version of Megaman!...Do you see what I see?!...Naked version of Megaman!...She showin' her *beep*!...Female Naked!...Naked version of Megaman! Female Naked!...Naked version of Megaman! Female Naked!...She just rip flesh!...Out her got-damn bones!...Yes she did! Shit nasty!...Yes she did! Shit nasty!...Yes she did! Shit NASty!...You will not, git out, off this!...You cannot, git out of this shhhhhit!...I rebuke your devilry body!...I said I re-BUKE! Yo devilry body!...I said I re-BUKE! Yo devilry body!...

Hazama: Seriously faggots?! You just gonna act like fools and sing folly got a sob story bull?! Fine! YA DO THAT I GOT THIS!

_Noel: No NO!_

Mu: _I will not lose. I will make sure this will be my only win._

Hazama: I'll never wanted to unleash ultimate power on females. But searching for bitches is not me! I looked up and down for you whores! "search and destroy" has always been my ancestry motto; not "search for that special one!" I found ya, now your mine, in the name of death. I took care of both of y'all! I went as far as to teach you both how to maintain y'alls killing personalities! But I guess it's the same difference.

Mu: *yawn* You done? I can sign up for school if I wanted to.

Hazama: "Restriction 666 released! Dimensional interference field deployed!"

Bang: OH SHIT!

Green Koopa: The azure! LET'S SCRAM!

Dry Bones: When the man is dry he will get high. That's why they made Valentine's Day. Di-da, DI-DA!

Arakune: Man you just flopped yourself matarded.

_All four goons exit_

Mu: Okay. Them paper snakes will not stand a chance.

Hazama: GIYGAS! The embodiment of evil! Help me amend these bitches! Guild them to not death, but to being my sex slaves! Empower my Azure!

Mu: _Red aura? "Giygas?!"_

_Noel: That Mewtwo from "Earthbound?!"_

Mu: _This bastard is asking for too much! _SHUT-UP NOW!

_Voice of Giygas: Hamaza, Hazama, Hazama. __Domination granted._

Hazama: WAHHHHAHAHA! YES I CAN FEEL HIS POWER BESTOWING UPON ME! YEAAAAAAAHHAHAAAAAA! I CAN FINALLY QUENCH MY URGES! "ACTIVATE BLAZBLUE!"

_Hazama dies, Giygas forms_

_**Scene: The Fetus of Giygas**__**(with some green)**_

Giygas: MUH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! I'm back, Ness is dead, world perish is guaranteed!

Mu: Um, I not going near this decayed fool.

_Noel: I think I know how to beat him. Pray._

Mu: _Hell no! God don't like me!_

_Noel: He loves everybody, even evildoers like you and this Christmas fetus._

Giygas: He don't love no one! SPLIT!

_Noel becomes real_

Mu: W-what?!

Noel: H-how did he.

Giygas: I'm the god of evil! I can make any wish come true, efface any dreadful thing that hunts you. Noel, your freedom is granted. Now in return, aid me in destroying this human infected world.

Noel: Umm...

Mu: She want's to do this!

Noel: DON'T ANSWER FOR ME!

Mu: Trick, this is do or die!

Noel: I'll rather get independence from the good god than you!

Giygas: Something I'd expect from you. Very well, both beings before me shall perish with the ugly world!

Mu: If we get out of this, you will surely die for your insolence!

**Armageddon Boss** **Giygas Vs Mu ****& Noel****! Oh shit this is scary!**

Mu: Skit bomb eat this!

Giygas: A twig can do better than this.

Noel: I'm not gonna even bother shootin'.

Mu: THAN GIVE ME!

Noel: HEY!

Mu: EAT! THIS! FAG!

Giygas: You're pretty stoic and persistent. That's all the sinful energy I need to control.

Mu: No one controls ME!

_(Me: Man America, this is some "scary" shit. Even my house formed into this bizarre dimension. All you a' see is this red n' green fetus floppin'up n' down in wavy motions.)_

_(Tsubaki: WHAT IS THIS SHIT?! WHERE'S THIS THING'S ASSHOLE!)_

_(Me: Ms, even if you find it, it just tickles it.)_

_(Tsubaki: THEN DO SOMETHING DAMMIT! THE WHOLE PLANET IS NOTHING BUT THIS RED AND GREEN SPERM!)_

_(Me: America, let's all pray that Noel and her nasty ego can handle this. They're our only hope.)_

_(Tsubaki: Man give me my money back!)_

_(Me: But you...)_

_(Tsubaki: GIVE IT BACK! YOU'RE A GOTHIC CONMAN!)_

_(Me: I wasn't attendin' to have Giygas I swear!)_

_(Tsubaki: Just help me find the ass! America watch them! Me and *beep* nose got something to do!)_

Noel: Lord if you hear me, please...

Giygas: NO!

Noel: MMMMMMMM!

Mu: Thank you! Ain't she a vexing bitch?!

Giygas: You're more degrading. If you want to be the enzyme to world destruction, than put some clothes on!

Mu: EVEN A GOD TELLS ME?! NOOOO! NEVER!

Giygas: You DARE DEFY MY COMMAND?! You're meager abilities will never penetrate my heart!

Mu: What. Evil finding love?

Noel: Mmmmmm! Mmmmm-mmmm! MMMMM!

Giygas: Evil originates from some tragic event. My mom died, that's all you need to know.

Mu: *laughing under her breath* Yeah well, I was created. I care about nothing and nobody! I should be your heir! Evil don't care about shit! You care about your mother, which is pathetic!

Giygas: You zombie bitch!

Mu: PAHHHHHHHHH SHIT! ENOUGH SLAMMING MY TITS ON STUFF!

Giygas: YOU DON'T CONTAIN MILK! FACEDESK!

Mu: MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAH! Damn!

Giygas: The more reason world's day shall come. Stoic zombies are running this world; you selfish excuse of humans are decaying yourselves and the environment.

Noel: *Rips* *pant, pant* W-we can work t-this out.

Giygas: What's there to work out? Unless you're changing your mind about joining me, perish.

Noel: Good people go through tragic stuff too! Look at me! My "real" parents put me up for adoption for baleful reasons, then the people that adopted ended up being murdered. I was without parents and a home for a long time until that guy you turned into fetus raised me, just to rape me! I told him no after he viciously requested for fun. Then came this slut who turns out to be my evil alter ego psycho.

Mu: GOT DAMMIT I'M NOT A SLUT!

Noel: Well you're pretty nasty with your prostitute dressin' self. I don't know where the castle at but this pink maniac who goes haywire from my shakin' voice. She chased me around her castle for two damn weeks. Finally, we're right here. After all of that, I never went to the devil. You're sacrificing your blessin's for what, avenge your mom's death by takin' the world? You chose to become "God of evil." No one told you to become so. I'm sorry but, you're a distortion to society.

Giygas: Oh that's a heart striking speech, but it missed something. Yes we got choices, but going the good way produces more and more negativity, hence the creation of angst; which you're so engulfed in. A lot of people hate the world, even you; that's why Mu exists as your darkside. She's not controlling you, you're controlling her. You cull to form into this false breed of human. She's merely you when you hallucinate the past; you're blurry delusions.

Noel: W-W-what? T-T-THAT'S NOT T-T, WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Mu:_ H-Huh? You're actually nailing my heart? _*sniffle* I'm independent! I Don't NEED HER I'M "REAL!"

Giygas: On the contrary. You're her illusion, only she can see and hear you. You killing Hakumen, she did that; She disguised as you to perform the deed. You getting punish was her beating down herself.

Mu: Satan taught you well. *sniffle* I never thought I would actually cry from such rubbish. I guess I am a fake, But "how you live is how you die." You sperm, will die a miserable death.

Noel: Your m-mom, is *sniffle* not lovin' t-this.

Giygas: And she didn't love humans for making her ill which result grave. "HUMANS!" Weakest beings on the face on the universe, took out my MOM! You all, Don't have, no place, in this "WORLD!"...RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Noel: Evil can be good and evil can be good anytime. You can break free whenever you're ready.

Giygas: Pah-PAHHAHAHAHAHA! AHHHHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAH! Enough false nostalgia. Perish with the rest of the ugly humans!

Noel: You're a good demon.

Mu: Ignore this helfa. Just fuck us well okay.

Giygas: Defying a god's command. You all deserve a slow death...RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY AAAAAAAAAAAAASS!

Noel & Mu: ?!

Me: Don't mind us America.

Tsubaki: In the name of punishment, take your evil ass back HOME!

Giygas: DIVINE REPENT-AAAAAAAAAAAAHER! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: Is punishment a actual god?

Tsubaki: Research honey. Research.

Giygas: I CAN TASTE THE LIGHT!

Tsabaki: HERE'S MORE!

Giygas: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH TRICK! I WILL RETURN JUST FOR YOU DIVINE BITCH! JUST YOU WAIT TRICK!

_Giygas Exits_

**Noel and Mu acquired an ****IMPOSSIBLE VICTORY! Giygas dissipates!**

**Scene: Mushroom Kingdom**

Noel: W-what just, happened?

Mu: I'm still here? So I'm real?! I'm finally free! YES! WORLD DEMISE SHALL COME!

Tsabaki: See Mario, even evil gods can't withstand a dagger up their asses.

Me: This is some wired shit. America, I didn't expect eccentric stuff to occur.

Tsubaki: You can have your money back. I don't need it. Un?! Is that Mu?

Mu: Who dare call me?!...Oh shit.

Tsubaki: Oh shit my ass! Where's my perm relaxer?!

Mu: Um, I buy you another.

Tsubaki: You LOST MY SHIT?!

Mu: No please! Stop moving!

Tsubaki: Wonder what a sword dildo feels like? It feels nice; makes you moan in tone helfa!

Mu: There's no need for this! It's just hair chemicals! NO PLEASE! NOEL! HELP!

Tsubaki: C'MERE HELFA! TOOK MY SHIT TRICK!

Mu: CHEMICALS PSYCHOPATH BITCH! CHEMICALS! *beep* ass *beep*

Tsubaki: *beep* IT'S "MY" HAIR SLUT!

Me: look at them a' go America. Peach got herself two ghetto fabulous orbits.

Noel: M-Mario, thank you!

Me: UFF! Peach don't like people huggin' me like this.

Noel: I l-learned a lot. That man died before me. I'm fully independent thanks to you sending me on this world tour. THANK Y-YOU SO MUCH!

Me: MAMA SHIT! GIRL! I CAN'T A' BREATH!

_Enter Peach_

Peach: Man what's with all of this ruckus? OH?! That bitch! HEY WHORE! GET OFF MY MAN!

Noel: Eh?! You! NOOOOO!

Peach: I GUESS NEXT TIME COULDN'T WAIT! YOU WILL LOSE THIS TIME HELFA!

Noel: MARRRRIIIIIIOOOOOO!

Peach: THAN YOU SAID HIS NAME?! YOU'RE MINE TOO PIMPING PEDOPHILE!

Noel: PHYCHO I'M GROWN!

Me: NO PLEASE! NO!

Peach: IF YOU END THIS, THAN YOU KILLED THIS SLUT FAGGOT ASS *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*...

Me: Man America, you see this, this is what a' you call a tragic endin'. Everybody is running eternal laps around this mentally challenged castle; even me, The GOT, DAMN HOST! This will be the first and only time I do some shit like this! Bye America! Fuck this mother fucker I'm out this mother fucker! Pizza!

Backup Singers: "You can't get out of the gaaaaaaaaaaame!"(repeat)

Four Goons: *laughing like utter maniacs*

_Camera overheats and explodes_


End file.
